It’s been over a month and a half since we moved to our new apartment.

Contrary to popular belief, we have had no drop-down, drag-out fights. (We haven’t had any fights at all, now that you mention it).  Neither of us have been mugged, robbed or stolen. The ambulance has only come twice and the fire truck once (both to our building, neither to our apartment). We still have not gotten up the guts to purchase curtains for our living room (too big of a commitment) but we have made three batches of cookies. AND our electric bill was only $14 for the first month, so we’ve decided that it’s ok to have more than one light on at a time.

We are still planning the party of the century at the FWC2B (This is the actual name of the apartment. It stands for Fort Wayne Campus 2B.  Not to be confused with to the “Main Campus”,  (our parent’s house), the “Auburn Campus” (Tannie’s cottage), and the “Satellite Dallas Campus” (Co-Jay’s ranch in Texas). We’ll invite you to our party, so long as you bring your own floor space and a chair. We’re quite limited in both.

As you approach, make sure you wave at Mel (Our upstairs neighbor. He wears army fatigues, has a bald head and drives a red sport’s car. He used to have pink party lights around his porch doors.  We don’t know what happened to them, nor do we know his real name. We’ve only seen him 3 times (and those were all through the “creeper window” in the door. He’s very quiet, so we like him.) When you enter the house, please take off your shoes and watch out for Pete the gnome (he is both invisible and mute, but he reminds us of his existence on a regular basis). Perhaps we’ll take you for a tour, maybe we’ll clear the “dance floor” and pump up the tunes, or maybe we’ll simply sit in “the yard” (that’s our name for our balcony. Just enough sitting room for two people, but, hey… it’s outside and it’s zero maintenance). If you happen to drop in during a meal, be advised that “too much pepper” is not a term used (or understood) in the FWC2B. You can always add more pepper. Always.  If you need to spend the night, we have two inflatable mattresses (though one deflates by midnight. we’re not sure which one it is, so you have a 50/50 chance of getting the good one) and a clean set of sheets.

No matter how long your visit, when you leave we shall wave farewell (while wiping away a tear or two).  Please make sure you take your time down the concrete steps outside our door, be aware of your surroundings as you unlock your car and use caution as you drive back home.  Remember that we live in the city so there’s more to worry about in a dark parking lot than a bunch of cow-tipping hooligans.

Know that you’re always welcome (if we’re home and you bring food) and we’ll leave the light on for ya. (Because it’s not as expensive as we thought)