I love Narnia.

I even love Narnia when it is covered in snow and ruled by a white witch. (Wow, when I write that out, it makes me sound like a really bad person. Come on: tell me you don’t LOVE that part when Lucy first walks from the wardrobe into the snow-covered forest. I always get chills because it is so beautiful) (I also get chills because it is very cold… but that’s besides the point).  (I’ve also always wanted to try Turkish Delight. It looks delicious, even it came as a result of Edmond’s bad life choices)

Anyway…

Ever since I was little, I’ve been secretly jealous of Lucy’s inherant ability to find Narnia just about everywhere she goes. In a wardrobe, a painting, a train station… I mean, land sakes, I’ve looked at so many paintings before and tried to jump through them (not like Steven from Blues Clues… more like Lucy and her cousin) and with no avail.

I have spent most of this winter trying to figure out what I need to do to enter the magical land of Narnia. (If I could pick a time period, I’d go for either “The Horse and His Boy” or “Voyage of the Dawn Treader”… though even “Silver Chair” would do, in a pinch).  I realized, after watching the third movie once again, that there were several things in my life that would need to change, in order to be magically be transported into the magical world of Narnia).  Here is the list that I compiled:

1) Develop a better British accent.  Unfortunately, no matter how hard I try to sound like I’m from London, it somehow evolves into an accent from the middle of Kentucky. Must work on this.

2) Wear plain colors and only dress in organic cotton and wool (or some sort of blend of the two).  I should probably braid some flowers into my hair and invest in a fur coat. This could be expensive.

3) Find a dark, warm place to hide out. That worked for Lucy in the first book. I have no wardrobe, so I must find a place that is dark, locks when the door closes, and is strangely magical.  I figure the furnace room in our apartment would do just about as well. I’ll just have to ignore the sign that talks about things bursting into flames… danger just makes it more of an adventure.

4) Keep someone else with me. This one does not seem to be 100% necessary, but I am more fond of the stories in which more than one person is taken to Narnia, so my chances to being taken to a pleasant story are higher when not alone. I seem to have several choices in who to pick: a sibling, cousin, or friend. This is going to be more difficult than you would imagine, because my obvious choice of companion into Narnia (who is both a friend and a sister), is being a bit difficult. Marta just won’t jive with the idea of sitting in the furnace room in itchy clothes while singing Kumbayah in a British accent.  She disagrees with my observation that it would be “jolly good”.

If all else fails, I can always put in Voyage of the Dawn Treader, while listening to the Radio Theater version of Voyage of the Dawn Treader, while reading Voyage of the Dawn Treader… while on a Voyage… at Dawn… on a boat named Treader.

That’s got to work.

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