I almost died tonight.  In my apartment. On my couch.

Woah – relax.  I didn’t say that “I died tonight”… I said I almost died. (That’s one example of how skimming can literally kill). Please be logical – if I would have died, I would not be writing this blog post right now. (I literally would not have “lived to tell about it”).

Now, where was I? Oh right… on the couch.

So, there I was, in my apartment (which I love, btw), eating a yellow caramel apple pop (which is not quite as well known, nor is it quite as delicious as the green ones.  They are better than the red ones, however… because those are the bad color), and I was looking at our blank wall trying to decide what to hang from it… when, suddenly, I inhaled incorrectly and a small piece of the caramel from the yellow caramel apple pop escaped from the safety of the sucker and shot down my windpipe.  As I begin to choke, all I could think about was how sad I was that I was going to die from a yellow apple caramel pop (instead of a green one, because green ones are my favorite candy in the entire world) (I like green caramel apple pops so much, in fact, that if I was going to die eating one kind of candy, that would be it.  I’m telling you this because if I ever DO die eating a caramel apple pop that is green, you can feel a little less mornful, because at least, you would think to yourself, she died eating her favorite candy in the entire world)… And that’s what made choking on the yellow caramel apple pop so terrifying: there I was, dying by a caramel apple pop, and it was NOT a green one! I mean, talk about irony.. So close, yet so far away.  (for the record, I also wished that Marta was with me, because she is a nurse and has saved at least one person from choking in her life) (No, really… she has. Click HERE to read all about it)

Thankfully, a nice hard hit on the chest was all I needed to free my airway and save my life from descrutcion-via-the-wrong-caramel-apple-pop.

And that’s why I’m glad I did not die today while eating a yellow caramel apple pop.  By the way, Marta is also very glad that I did not die.  In her words: “Do you realize how much guilt I would have felt if I would have come back to the apartment and found you dead from choking?”  I agree. If it had been a green one, however, it would not have been quite as bad.

I have learned a lesson from all of this: I shall never again eat candy alone in my apartment on my couch looking at my wall. I shall always make sure I have at least one person in the room supervising.  (Unless, however, it is in fact a green caramel apple pop I’m eating)