I love Carter. He is tall, funny, and very complimentary of me (that is, when I have my hair up in a ponytail).  He also has a tendency to get himself into situations that he doesn’t always have a way out of.  For example, last night when he asked if I could knit using fingers instead of knitting needles.  I (of course) was up to the challenge, and a half hour later, he had 1/2 a scarf hanging from his two index fingers.

Another great example happened tonight: when he spent 5 minutes on the phone with someone who thought he was our grandmother.

Let’s set the stage: It’s 5:20, I am not home from work yet, and Carter is just chilling in the kitchen.  The phone rings… and, like the big grown up responsible 17-year-old that he is, he answers it.

Carter: “Hello, Chases”

Caller Who Shall Remain Nameless (from this point on, she will be called “CWSRN”): “Well hello Mrs. Chase How are you this evening?”

Carter: Wait, for real? She thinks I’m mom? “Actually… this is carter”

CWSRN: “oh, Carter!” (long pause) “You must be Laura’s mother!”

Carter: “… … …” oh no, what do I say now?

CWSRN seems to take Carter’s lack of a response as an affirmative answer, so she begins telling him why she’s calling.  After a few minutes, during which Carter is simply adding the occasional “uh huh”, all the while trying to figure out how to break it to her that she is not in fact speaking with his grandmother, she pauses and then adds: “I’m sorry, do you know if this is their dinner time?”

Carter: “Um, I think it’s in like 5 or 10 minutes.”

CWSRN: “Oh, I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t interrupting dinner”

Carter: “Actually, Laura is right here if you want to talk to her”  (How awkward – he just called Mom by her first name. What else was he supposed to say, though… “my daughter”?  That would have just been a straight-out lie)

CWSRN: “oh, no, that’s fine. Have a lovely evening, Mrs. Carter”

Carter: (struggling not to laugh) “You too” (and quickly hangs up the phone and bursts out in laughter)

That’s when I got back from work.

Since then, in his desperate attempt to get past this small setback in life, I have watched him travel through all of the classic 5 stages:

First, Denial.  “For real? I DO NOT SOUND LIKE MY GRANDMOTHER! I am a MAN!”

Second, Anger. “She should know better! She’s known us forever! I WILL NOT let anyone else think that I am an 80-year-old woman.”

Third, Bargaining.  “Ok, so if change my voice so that it sounds low and manly, then nobody will ever think I am my grandmother ever again.”

Forth, Depression. “Man… I sound like my grandma. Maybe I should just eat an entire box of doughnuts”

Fifth, Acceptance. “I sound like my grandmother! That’s GREAT! Think of all of the tricks I can play on people now! That also means that I sound like I’m really wise. Like really super wise. I think I could get used to this”.

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