Dear stomach,

Why are you making that noise? You sound like I haven’t fed you for a week.

Don’t you remember dinner? It was tasty and delicious. I ate a lot and you even yelled at me about that second brownie (by the way, I really am sorry about that)

I believe you even reminded me that I’d eaten too much when I was later offered a piece of banana cake. I figured a pot of coffee would be just the thing to make you relax.

There you go again: quiet down, stomach! Don’t you know there are people in this room that are trying to sleep?  I would understand if you were just trying to process my food choices for the day (I realize that a bag of popcorn, a roast beef sandwich, an apple, almonds and a snickers bar were perhaps not the best combo for lunch. They were just so delicious) but that sound you are making reminds me of a pack of lions trying to rearrange furniture.

I would get up and find something else to eat, in an attempt to appease your cries… but (quite frankly) my bed it too warm and I am too drowsy. A trip to the kitchen would be just the thing to wake me up and delay sleep for an hour or so.

Maybe I’ll just eat some of the candy I have stashed away behind my pillow.  Delicious sugar & caramel treats.  Would you like that, stomach?

Alas, it’s no good. If I ate that, I would have to brush my teeth again, and it wouldn’t be worth it: my pillows are arranged perfectly, and the mattress temperature is supreme.  Comfort like this is impossible to achieve more than once a day.

Maybe I’ll just put in some earplugs and ignore you for a while until I fall asleep.

What’s that you say, stomach?

Oh that’s right… I can’t hear you ’cause I’m ignoring you.