Dear Readers,

By reading this post, you are about to learn something dangerous. In the hands of the wrong person, this knowledge could impact life as we know it. I am about to tell you the secret of secrets at the Chase house… if life were a game of poker, this would be the “tell” of all “tells”.  What is about to be revealed is not for those who simply dabble in the art of reading people… this is dangerous… be warned, once you have been trained to recognize it, you will never be able to turn back

I am, of course, talking about the “Chase Smirk”.

If you’ve been around us for long enough, you’ve probably seen this without realizing it: it’s what we do right before we tell a joke, or when we know we’re about to win an argument.  It’s what we do when we’re trying to keep a secret, or when we’re trying to hold back from saying what JUST popped into our heads. It’s not even a half-smile… it’s almost closer to a twitch. One side of the mouth slyly creeps up for a split second as if to say “that’s right… that was good”.   It’s subtle, it’s sneaky… but it is always there.

If it weren’t for that silly smirk, jokes would not be as funny nor would “burns” be as painful. Without the smirk, thoughts would sneak by unnoticed and secrets would remain secret forever.  The smirk aids in catching the culprits of pranks and squeezing the truth out of little white lies. It’s also how the culprit in the “Amelia Nortzwafflewitz” case was caught (dumb smirk)

“So,” you may ask, “how do I interpret the smirk?”

Thanks for asking. Unfortunately, there is not guide for understanding the Chase Smirk, though many experts have attempted in vain to create one. It takes years of study and observation to master the art of Smirk Reading. After all, it could mean anything from “I just saw that embarrassing thing you did” to “I’m just drew the winning piece!” or even “I’m didn’t hear a single word you just said” or “ha, reminds me of a joke!  Don’t be discouraged if you misinterpret the smirk the first few times you try: It’s taken Mom over 30 years of marriage to my dad to get a good grasp on the full meaning of the smirk.

“Then,” you may ask, “what do I do if I see you smirk?”

I couldn’t have asked that better myself!

To be honest, it really depends on the context. If I smirked at something you said, you probably don’t want to know what I’m thinking.  If I smirked at your joke, it probably wasn’t funny enough to laugh at.. and if I smirked as result of something embarrassing, it’s a simple acknowledgement that I saw and will remember it forever.  As a general rule, if you catch a Chase smirking, it’s probably time to buckle your seat belt and put on your helmet: you’re about to be shocked.