Ok, I’ll admit it: I’ve been drinking a lot of coffee recently.  I enjoy it. The flavor is wonderful… and the caffeine doesn’t hurt either.  The only problem with drinking lots of coffee is that, in recent days, I’ve realized that my teeth are beginning to look a little on the yellow side.

Yes, I brush.

Yes, I floss.

Yes, I use mouthwash.

So, the question is, without spending lots of money on teeth whitening strips (I mean, really? $20 – $30 for a box?) or special gels ($200 – $300) or other such nonsense: how do we keep the teeth from matching the coffee I’m drinking?

Being my father’s daughter, my first stop was Google. They forwarded me to a very helpful site full of (nearly) free home remedies. Some included: cotton swab hydrogen peroxide straight to the teeth, brushing with straight baking soda, strawberries (cut in half, cover your teeth with the juice and leave for 10 minutes, then brush. hog wash, I say), swishing with vinegar/salt mixture, magic eraser directly to teeth, scrubbing with aloe vera sap, apple cider rinse, eye makeup remover pad with olive oil, white sand scrub, and charcoal powder rub. That’s when the ideas got really weird. For example: A mixture of 3 methods. Oil pulling (swish sesame oil for 20 minutes), Hydrogen peroxide swishing (3% w/ water and keep in mouth for 10 minutes), and baking soda brushing (make paste out of baking soda/water mixture and brush away)… and (my favorite) a nice combination of nearly all of them (crushed strawberry, baking soda, lemon juice and peroxide. Scrub your teeth for about 5 minutes with the stuff. They say it makes your gums burn, but it works really well).

After about an hour of hard research, I realized: maybe I don’t really want white teeth. Maybe I just want to be a normal working class citizen. Maybe it’s ok if my teeth don’t reflect moon beams.

Perhaps a nice white smile isn’t worth aggravating my gag reflex…

for your reference, information, imagination and entertainment…